I'm scared.

I'm scared because I'm 31 and I haven't done half of the things I wanted to do. I'm scared because I'm 31 and sometimes I feel like I'm 60. I'm scared to grow up and lose my child’s innocence. But I'm even more scared to stop growing up and stagnate to the same level over and over again.

I'm scared to dream too much. I'm scared that my dreams are too big and that reality might never catch them up. I'm scared to wake up 50 and realized that I only been dreaming my life. I'm scared that my dreams might be in vain. But sometimes it seems easier to think that I can change my star than to admit that all my dreams are vain. So I get scared to give up.

I'm scared that life will win over me. I'm scared to give reasons to all the persons who were telling me to get back down to earth. I'm scared to hear "I told you so." I'm scared to keep trying but never make it.

I'm scared because I need everything to be amazing and because I can't satisfy myself with ok. But I'm even more scared that striking for amazing get worst then handling ok. I'm scared to satisfy myself with little and become my own shadow, but I'm scared of wanting too much and never reach it. I'm scared to lose what I had built but I'm scared to lock myself in a safe.

I'm scared of war and violence. But I'm even more scared of my own violence. I get so overwhelmed toward our society that rage invades my heart without me been able to stop it. I'm scared to be a dreamer and die in disillusions, but I'm scared to stop believing that this world can be a better place.

I'm scared to say what I think sometimes in the fear of hurting people but I'm scared to become hypocrite. I'm scared to be wrong but I'm scared to be right about the ugliness. I'm scared that myself can't be enough sometime for some people. I'm scared of that feeling that make you feel incompetent toward people because you see them bigger than they are. I'm scared of what people think of me but I'm even more scared of living through others people’s minds and opinions. I'm scared to lose myself trying to fit in this world. I'm scared to be different and myself but I'm even more scared to be someone else.

I'm scared about tomorrow because it's coming too soon and I'm scared of yesterday because I did mistake I can’t repair. I scared to have regrets but I'm more scared to have remorse. I'm scared to never forget my past and I'm scared to mess up my future.

I'm scared to go unnoticed but I'm scared to be under the spot light. I'm scared to be happy because I keep thinking it’s too good to be true and that it will eventually blow right off in my face. And I'm scared to be unhappy because it might never end.

I'm scared to disappoint my friend and my love ones but I'm even more scared to disappoint myself. I'm scared to be betrayed and sometimes I’m scared to trust. I'm scared to be played though I'm playing people sometime unconsciously. I'm scared to get lost in my pain or worst to become arrogant with success.

I'm always in between two. I'm scared of black and I'm scared of white but I got no grey zone.

I’m scared to be a bad person. I’m scared to get hurt and to hurt. I'm scared to let people know I'm vulnerable. I'm scared that the words “I love you” become habit and words like any others. I'm scared to forget to say thank you. I'm scared to neglect my love ones. I'm scared to become selfish. I'm scared that my friends forget I love them. I'm scared that my dad might be ashamed of me one day. I'm scared to be only a photo in a picture frame for my nieces and nephews. I'm scared to be like my mom. I'm so scared to be like her and that my son might hate me one day.

I'm scared of racist because it’s destroying our world. I'm scared of indifference. I'm scared to judge and be judge. I'm scared of where this world is going. I'm scared to forget all the pain human being been through but I'm scared to get depressed and paranoid about it. I'm scared of injustice but I'm scared of too much freedom. I'm scared. I'm just scared and I can't help myself. I think that life scared the shit out of me sometimes!