I'm scared because I'm 31 and I haven't done half of the things I
wanted to do. I'm scared because I'm 31 and sometimes I feel like I'm 60. I'm
scared to grow up and lose my child’s innocence. But I'm even more scared to
stop growing up and stagnate to the same level over and over again.
I'm scared to dream too much. I'm scared that my dreams are too big and
that reality might never catch them up. I'm scared to wake up 50 and realized
that I only been dreaming my life. I'm scared that my dreams might be in vain. But
sometimes it seems easier to think that I can change my star than to admit that
all my dreams are vain. So I get scared to give up.
I'm scared that life will win over me. I'm scared to give reasons to all
the persons who were telling me to get back down to earth. I'm scared to
hear "I told you so." I'm scared to keep trying but never make it.
I'm scared because I need everything to be amazing and because I can't
satisfy myself with ok. But I'm even more scared that striking for amazing get
worst then handling ok. I'm scared to satisfy myself with little and become my
own shadow, but I'm scared of wanting too much and never reach it. I'm scared
to lose what I had built but I'm scared to lock myself in a safe.
I'm scared of war and violence. But I'm even more scared of my own
violence. I get so overwhelmed toward our society that rage invades my
heart without me been able to stop it. I'm scared to be a dreamer and die in
disillusions, but I'm scared to stop believing that this world can be a better
place.
I'm scared to say what I think sometimes in the fear of hurting people
but I'm scared to become hypocrite. I'm scared to be wrong but I'm scared to be
right about the ugliness. I'm scared that myself can't be enough sometime for
some people. I'm scared of that feeling that make you feel incompetent toward
people because you see them bigger than they are. I'm scared of what people
think of me but I'm even more scared of living through others
people’s minds and opinions. I'm scared to lose myself trying to fit in this
world. I'm scared to be different and myself but I'm even more scared to be
someone else.
I'm scared about tomorrow because it's coming too soon and I'm scared of
yesterday because I did mistake I can’t repair. I scared to have regrets but
I'm more scared to have remorse. I'm scared to never forget my past and I'm
scared to mess up my future.
I'm scared to go unnoticed but I'm scared to be under the spot light. I'm
scared to be happy because I keep thinking it’s too good to be true and that it
will eventually blow right off in my face. And I'm scared to be unhappy because
it might never end.
I'm scared to disappoint my friend and my love ones but I'm even more
scared to disappoint myself. I'm scared to be betrayed and sometimes I’m
scared to trust. I'm scared to be played though I'm playing people sometime
unconsciously. I'm scared to get lost in my pain or worst to become arrogant
with success.
I'm always in between two. I'm scared of black and I'm scared of white
but I got no grey zone.
I’m scared to be a bad person. I’m scared to get hurt and to hurt. I'm
scared to let people know I'm vulnerable. I'm scared that the words “I love
you” become habit and words like any others. I'm scared to forget to say thank
you. I'm scared to neglect my love ones. I'm scared to become selfish. I'm
scared that my friends forget I love them. I'm scared that my dad might be
ashamed of me one day. I'm scared to be only a photo in a picture frame for my
nieces and nephews. I'm scared to be like my mom. I'm so scared to be like her
and that my son might hate me one day.
I'm scared of racist because it’s destroying our world. I'm scared of
indifference. I'm scared to judge and be judge. I'm scared of where this world
is going. I'm scared to forget all the pain human being been through but I'm
scared to get depressed and paranoid about it. I'm scared of injustice but I'm
scared of too much freedom. I'm scared. I'm just scared and I can't help
myself. I think that life scared the shit out of me sometimes!